I wonder what do we mean by grow up?? I am 32 years old and have just begun to grow up. I spent my childhood in a near perfect subdivision, but lived in a seriously disfunctional alcholic household. Having said that I abolutely love my family. It was tough but I look back at miy child hood as if I grew up in the old episodes of Saturday Night Live. It was chaotic, sometimes dangerous, but it ultimately helped shape me into the person I am today. Honestly I am just beginning to like me so why would I hate the painful past that led me to who I am today? This is response is propably far from what you were looking for but its the truth and what else do I have to give if not the truth?
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This is something that I struggle with since truth is often determined through ones own perception. What is true today may not seem true tomorrow given additional information. I know people may frown upon this but when I need to know what is true I look to the bible. I know that God loves me and that he exists, but my mind has difficulty wrapping around what is "real". Real is the love I have for my daughter and the responsibilities attached to that love. Real is the this momment. Real is my life, but it is temporary and that is also real.
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Yes and no. I believe that everyone is destined to do something. Whether or not someone fulfills their destiny is a whole nother ball game. God gives us a purpose that we are meant to fullfill, but he still give us free will. We have the ability to choose our fate.
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Last night with my 9 year old.
We discussed our fears and what was trully behind them. She is afraid to be where she can't see me. She is terrified of being abandonced. I believe this has to do a lot with her father and how we split up. He has been a no call no show several time in her young life. Twice on fathers day before she turned 6 as well as oversleeping and forgetting to pick her up at school. We discussed it and I attempted to reassure her, but we kind of left it that we need to try a little distance to show her that I am always going to be there.
I treat my child like a little person because that is what she is.
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QaR
January 2008 
Wingsearching
